Man Hater

Okay, so for once, I have a personal life to complain about. I guess I should be thankful that I have a personal life...much less a complaint. But right now, I am so mad at men--and upset with myself for trusting them! Okay, so maybe not every man--just one right now.

Okay, so here's what happened. Brett and I decided to make up and be friends. That was a little over two weeks ago. I was very happy with that decision. But a week later, he's contacting me--wanting us to be together again. He told me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him and he thought we had a future. Now, a couple of months ago, I thought the same thing, but in the last two months, I have been able to see things in him that I really don't want in my life--and for sure not in a marriage. So, I told him that he had a lot to work on before I would get back together with him. I told him I still wanted to be friends, but I told him I wanted him to better himself for him, not for me, because I wouldn't promise him a future.

Well I was so proud of him! He started really working on a bunch of stuff. He even asked me to help him with a budget. I was really cautious about doing that, because I really didn't want to know his business. He just bought a new car--a car he really couldn't afford. So, I was not real happy with his spending habits. Well, I told him if we did a budget, then I wasn't going to waste my time. He was going to do what I asked him to. He agreed. So, we got together and worked him out a budget to stick to.

He promised he would stick to it--even went grocery shopping so he wouldn't have to eat out so much--then I find out he didn't even wait 24 hours before he got off the budget! He got so mad at me when I confronted him about it! I think he was mad because he got caught! But needless to say, we had a big fight. And I never want to talk to him again! I care to much about him, and he seems not to care, so my view is why should I have to deal with it if he doesn't care about any of it?

From this point forward, I wash my hands of Brett. I want nothing to do with him. I mean, how is it my fault that he can't get his act together? He made me so upset--so upset that I probably said things I shouldn't have.

And on top of that, he lied to some of our friends. HE told them we were dating again--something they later confronted me about , because they knew how I felt about the whole situation. I will not be with someone I can't trust.

The greatest fear I have is I will lose our mutual friends. But they all tell me that I don't have to worry about that. They've also told me that they agree Brett is not good for me right now. They see the same things that I have seen--things I was too blind to see the first time. So, for now, Steve, Joy, and Heidi are all still my friends. I just hope they will continue to hang out with me--especially since the only times Steve, Joy, and I ever hung out was when I was with Brett.
But I really don't think I have anything to worry about with Heidi. She's planning on moving in with me this weekend--if everything works out. That's right! I am getting a roommate! I am really excited about this, but at the same time, very cautious. I haven't had much luck with roommates in the past. But I haven't had a roomie in about six years, so I really hope that I am a better person now than I was then. Heidi and I have both done a lot of praying about it, and her mother, and our pastor, who just happens to be her uncle, both agree that this would be a good move for both of us. However, my family has tried to talk me out of it. My little sis even gave me a huge lecture about it the other day. I was surprised! She usually likes to stay out of everyone's business, but I am glad she decided to tell me. I value her opinion, even if I don't agree with it all the time.

So, for now, I am so glad I am single. I really want to get married and have a family. I mean, I am 28--i'm not getting any younger! And I pray every day that God will send the *right* man into my life. But for now, I am going to enjoy my singleness. God has already answered so many of my prayers this year--I know he hasn't forgot about this one.