Friday, February 05, 2010

Rain, Wash My Sorrows Away

Tonight, it's raining. It's been raining all day. The weather--it seems to match my mood. Just as the sky seems to be crying, so are my heart and soul.
I have deep secrets, that only God and the walls of my bedroom know. I cry out to God frequently, asking Him for answers.

All day at work today, I've struggled. I'm so tired, and that alone makes me emotional. I laid in bed until noon today, because my body just seems like it had no energy. I just wanted to keep my eyes shut and forget about the day ahead. But I have to work. So I went. But the only good things that came out of the day were that I actually got to take an hour for lunch. I went alone, which was probably a good thing, considering my bad mood. The second good thing? That my show was flawless.

Then I got in the car, and before I could even get out of the parking lot, I was sobbing. I put in a worship c-d, third day...and the song "Give Me a Revelation" started through the speakers of the car. And I just started crying out to God, my creator. Just crying out to Him, asking him to help me have the desires of my heart.
Then when I got home, I stood out in the rain, hoping it could wash my sorrows away.

The song "give me a revelation" by third day is exactly how I feel right now. I need a revelation. I feel like I'm alone, I'm broken...but I'm trying to find my way. Many times, though, I feel so lost. It's like I wrote this song, cause the whole song is EXACTLY how I feel.

When I was a kid, and my mom was making me do something I didn't want to do, I would say, "But that's not fair." She would always reply, "Life's not fair." I never realized the truth in that statement, until recently. Life's Not Fair!

Please pray for me, as I try and do this thing we call "Life".
JESUS--I need you more than ever right now. I've got nothing without you.

1 comment:

Eric said...

Praying for you. God obviously has you in a place right now that is drawing you closer to Him.