Friday, March 04, 2011

A Defeated Spirit

From time to time, I realize that life sucks. I've shared this before...when I was a child, I would say to my mom when she made me do something I didn't want to do... "It's not fair." She would always reply, "Life's not fair." I never realized the truth in her statement, until the last few years. Life's not fair. You work hard, do everything you're supposed to do, and someone else will always be favored more than you. I've had a really hard day today, and I just want to scream, "But it's not fair!!!!!!!!!!" Then I hear my mother's words echoing in my ears...and thank her for telling me that early. People tell me all the time how strong I am. I'm not. I'm just a woman, who tries to be strong, since I'm living this life single. But fear is a real thing for me. It's something that I fight on a daily basis. Always have. Days like today don't help. I feel so defeated today. Maybe I'm taking everything that happened today way out of proportion, I don't know. I do know how angry I've been all day, upset, and heartbroken...two very different issues affecting me two very different ways. All I keep wishing is I wouldn't have had to come home to an empty house tonight. Oh the joys.

I need you, Lord. Very much tonight. You are my refuge, a shelter in whom I trust. Be my fortress. My comforter. My peace. My everything.

1 comment:

rgvmyrtle said...

Just wanted to let you know that you'll see that everything will be ok. Remember that God has control over everything and that he wouldn't do anything to harm you. By the way when i'm going through tough times I always say to my self, "this too shall pass". Think that when you're going through tough times its because the Lord wants to bless greatly. Hope you make this Monday a wonderful one!!!