Not Feeling Well...Again

Man, I am really getting tired of being sick. I have been sick so many times since I moved to Greenville, and here I am...sick again! I went to church yesterday, feeling just fine. Then about 30 minutes into the service, this overwhelming sense of nausea came over me. I had to leave for fear that I would get sick right there in the sanctuary. I came home, sent a couple of emails, and went to bed. I didn't even get up for drama practice. I slept until it was time to go to work.

Well, I really did not feel like being at work, but with our writer, Kate, on maternity leave, we are already short-handed. So, staying home really isn't an option. I got to work, only to find out most of our morning crew is sick. Amanda had strep-throat all weekend. Greg had stomach issues all day yesterday. And Heather wasn't even at work for 5 minutes before she had to run to the bathroom to throw up. So, we were all at work, and we were all sick. Something is definately going around. And it doesn't help when we all have to work sick. We pass it around like pre-schoolers at daycare.

So, now I'm home. I called my trainer and cancelled. Just can't work out feeling like I do right now. I think I'm going to go to bed soon.

I really hope I start feeling better soon. Thanksgiving is this week and I am going to my dad's. I really want to feel good while I'm there.

It's snowing in the mountains today (they're not that far from me). I think we're supposed to get some sleet here in Greenville. It's already raining a little. Winter is definately here. You know how I told you the leaves were so pretty a couple of weeks ago? Well, for the first time since I moved here, I think South Carolina is ugly! All the trees are bare...everything looks dead. It's just so yucky looking. I now appreciate all the evergreen trees in Alabama. But, still, I think I am going to enjoy winter here. I do hope we get some snow. I just don't like the way everything looks.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

All I want for Christmas

Just a few moments ago, I went to a friend's blog. His post simply said, "What do you want for Christmas?" It didn't take me long to answer. This year, I don't want material things. But the one thing I want, I can't have. I want to be with my family on Christmas. That would be the absolute best Christmas present ever! But I have to work, so I cannot go home.

You know, as a child, Christmas was always so magical. I knew the real reason for the season. My mom made sure to teach me about Jesus at an early age. But my dad made sure I got to experience the other side of Christmas, too. Santa Claus was very real to me growing up. I remember hearing elves run through the hall on Christmas eve, and hearing the reindeer on the roof. One Christmas morning, I went outside and found sleigh marks in the dirt. Santa was there and he was there every year!

One year when I was little, we were all spending Christmas at my grandmother's house. We used to have these big family Christmases with all the cousins. I don't know why we stopped. But it was so much fun. My brother and I were the youngest of the cousins and the older ones had a lot of fun with us because of it. One year, they were trying to get me to go to sleep on Christmas eve, but I wanted to stay awake. And you know if you're still awake when Santa comes, he won't stop. So, I was laying there and I looked out the window, and I saw Rudolph's red nose in the window. Oh no! Santa is here and I'm not asleep! What am I going to do? It was so much fun. I miss those days. I can't wait until God blesses me with children so I can bring back that childhood magic of Christmas.

Thanksgiving hasn't even passed and I'm already thinking about Christmas, but I can't help it. Christmas is all around me! On the radio, stations are already playing Christmas music...and you go to the store and there's Christmas decorations everywhere! But I don't mind. Christmas is my favorite time of year. I've been known to listen to Christmas music in July! :)

I'm going to my dad's for Thanksgiving next week. I'm really looking forward to it!!! And I get to see my nephew for the first time...he's a year old! My step-brother and his wife live in Chicago, and her family lives in France, so we don't get to see them very often.

Mondays and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Today is Monday. I hate Mondays. Yes, I know I've said that before, but I really do. I moved my training session to Mondays. I think it's good, because that's something else I hate to do, as much as I need to do it, so it just makes sense that I would do it on Mondays.

Last night, I went to drama practice. When I got there, I discovered that the drama leader wasn't going to be there. He put the practice in the hands of another girl. That didn't upset me. What did upset me was that he knew he wasn't going to be there the week before and he didn't tell us. I am a journalist. I like to be informed. I don't like things being sprung on me the last minute. And I felt like we didn't get much done.
Don't get me wrong...I enjoy this drama group. But if I am going to only get 4 or 5 hours of sleep on Sundays to go to practice, then I want it to be productive. Plus, I was tired and didn't feel like being there anyway. So, last night at work, I was not very useful, since I was so tired. I did, however, get my show finished. And I think it looked pretty good, too.

I ran a story this morning that I really love. They are building a national monument to Martin Luther King, Jr. in Washington, D.C. I think that's a wonderful thing. He will be the first African American to be honored in that way. And I really think he deserves it. So many people in this country are still very racist. It became very evident to me when I went home for my class reunion. I watched and my heart broke as the blacks and whites separated themselves from each other. Everytime we were seated...it was the white section and the black section. It is just natural for people in my home town to do that, but it broke my heart. I've been told by several people that it will always be that way there, but I pray those people are wrong. Since I've been away from Gordo, I have learned that color is only skin deep. What matters is who they are on the inside. King had a dream. And some of his dream has happened. People have rights, no matter the color of their skin, but people in the deep south still have their prejudices, and it's not only against blacks and white. It's against hispanic, chinese, indian, you name it! I pray that God will open their eyes and let them see people for who they are.

The Week's End

I'm doing a bit better than I was the last time I posted. Still feeling a bit lonely, but it's not overwhelming like it was a few days ago. Overall, this has been a good week. Monday I started working with a new trainer. Really like her. I was sore for several days following our workout. Then Monday night, I went and saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra in concert. It was great. I had never seen anything like it! Today (friday), I went to a kickboxing class. And tonight I'm starting to feel the effects of that class! Tonight, I went to church. They had a praise and worship convention this week and the evenings were open to everyone. I really had a good time in the Lord. My friend, Patrick, and his girlfriend went with me. And it was great because I saw some of the people I'm in the drama group with and they said hello. It was great to actually know someone at church!

Tomorrow, I am going to get up and make a clean-up of my house. I deep-cleaned it last week, so I just have to maintain it. I still need to clean my bedroom. I've just been putting it off all week.
And tomorrow, I also need to go look for something for my dad and step-mom for Christmas, since I won't see them on Christmas, I need to bring them their presents on Thanksgiving. And my dad is the hardest person in the world to shop for. I never have a clue as to what to get him. HELP!!! If anyone out there had any good ideas, let me know.

I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving. My step-brother and his wife will be at my dad's. I haven't seen them in about two years. They have a baby who's a year old, and I've never met him. So, I am really glad I will finally get to meet my nephew.


Well, I'm going to say good-bye for now. I need to go to bed!

All Alone in a Big, Big World

I'm feeling really lonely this week. More so today than I have in a long time. I have more than once the last few days felt my eyes tear up and blinked back the tears because crying won't help.

Can I be real?
Living alone gets to you sometimes. And I don't have anyone here I can go to when I feel this way. But that's nothing new. I haven't had anyone in a very long time...since before I moved to Huntsville, actually...and that was three years ago.

I don't like to share things like this that are in my heart. So many times I go on and on... trying to act like everything's okay. I don't like people knowing what's going on inside my heart. So, why now? Why am I being so candid now? I guess because it's gotten to where I just feel like I need to talk to someone about it. And the blogger world is out there, always ready to listen.

I could go on and on about the feelings I am having right now, but I will refrain from doing so. Some thoughts that I can't seem to shake keep coming to mind. Thoughts of a happy time when I was in the presence of someone I love dearly. That person is far away. It seems like everyone that I love is far away right now. Look at that...blinking back tears again.

I think it's probably the holidays getting to me. Yes, it's hard to believe Thanksgiving is upon us and Christmas isn't far behind. I get this way sometimes during this part of the year. All of the people I love the most are far away carrying on with their own lives, and here I am doing the same, but desperately wanting some companionship.

You might say, well pick up the phone and call those you miss so much. Yes, that helps, but it's not the same as being in the same room with the person, sharing conversation over a cup of coffee or tea. And since college, when my closest friends scattered, I have felt like I was all on my own. Don't get me wrong, I love South Carolina. I miss it when I'm not here. But while I was home in Alabama a couple of weeks ago, I got to visit some very dear friends, and truthfully, I didn't want to say good-bye. Why is it that life is full of good-byes...(tears again)...and never any "I'm here to stays"? I just want one person to enter my life and say "I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to stay forever." And I mean stay physically with me. Someone I never have to say good-bye to. I'm so tired of being alone.

So, here I am...hoping God here's my prayer this holiday season. Please God, you've done so much in my life this year. You rescued me from a horrible job situation in Pensacola, and gave me a great job here in South Carolina with co-workers that like and respect me. You've given me a good church and even given me a small group to start getting involved in. Now, Lord, grant this final Christmas wish. Help me not to be lonely anymore.

Fall Brilliance

It's fall and the colors here are proving it! When outside, I can't help but marvel at the beauty surrounding me. I walked around my apartment complex yesterday and just took pictures of the trees. The reds, yellows, and oranges are absolutely gorgeous! this is a picture I pulled from a website of the colors here. I'll post some as soon as I can of the ones I took.

The weather here is getting colder, too. I walked into work last night with a scarf, gloves, and a hat on and my co-workers found that quite funny! But I can already tell that I am going to be really cold this winter.

A ski resort is opening tomorrow in the mountains of Western North Carolina. That's not very far from me. Of course, it's not snowing yet, but they will be making their own snow. I guess I'm going to have to learn how to snow ski this winter.

I joined a drama group at church. I went to my first practice last weekend, and I really enjoyed it. Now, I'm thinking of getting involved with the Make-a-Wish foundation. I really love that organization, so I'm going to look into it.

Have a good weekend!